Currently Listening Ryojoku No Ame see related

I'm moving out


M O V I N G  O U T

finally


I won't have a computer so I can only check from an internet cafe so that's a bit of a trouble. Oh well.
I'll try to be here now and then.

So far, I have
-facebook (english)
-xanga (english)
-live journal (mostly japanese now)
-mixi (japanese)

I won't be using xanga and lj often, and it's too tiring to register on what's-it-called.. myspace? >.<




Hope everyone's having a good time.




-burning from the inside
 crying with p a i n

 アナタニハスクエナイ (you can't save me)
--Dir en grey

Currently Listening Getting Away With Murder By Papa Roach Scars see related

Summer is over.
Long time no see (or, write?)


It's been a few months since I turned 19, and four months since I started working as a hostess. I'm not really sure what I want to do with my life but for now, I'll just work and save money, and at the same time stay focused on university classes.
I've got to do art. I'm stressed out about a lot of things and I really need to let things out, but I find that I cannot express myself well in English. And yet, my Japanese still isn't proficient. I had a talk with the manager of where I work, and I found myself crying because I coudn't understand what he was saying or what I'd done wrong.



- I tear my heart o p e n
  I sew myself shut
  My weakness is that
  I care too much
  And my scars remind me
  that the past is real
  I tear my heart open
  j u s t    to    f e e l
::Papa Roach::

Currently Listening Moonlight Shadow By Groove Coverage see related

6 days till my 19th birthday!!



I have been busy with work nowadays. Staying up all night, talking with men, laughing, smiling - being a hostess is never easy. But it's worth it. I'm learning a lot of things.

There were Chinese classes to take so I went to Kyoto. University is fun, but 3 days of Chinese was tiring.
I stayed over at Azumi's house because he's not home at night.
Isn't it weird? Sleep-over at a friend's just because he's not around.
He goes to work at night - I go over to his bar, then come home, sleep till 7am
He comes home around 7am - I get ready and go to the university while he sleeps till I come back
We eat dinner together, he gets ready for work, I visit his bar again

So the only things we ever did was eat dinner.
Not bad, but I wish we could've hung out more. Maybe next month?




so yeah, 6 days till my birthday. I'm not sure if I feel excited about it.

Currently Listening The Lonely Position of Neutral By Trust Company "Downfall" see related

Fall back on me and I'll be the strength I need
To save me now, just come face to face with me
Stay in place you'll be the first to see me heal these woulds
Step down, step down, step down, down
I'm not breaking down

Can I break away, push me away
Make me fall just to see another side of me


-TrustCo.





Have I fallen enough?

And all the roads we have to walk along are winding
And all the lights that lead us there are blinding
There are many things that I would like to say to you
I don't know how

Because maybe you're going to be the one who saves me
And after all you're my wonderwall

-Oasis



I don't know who's the one to save me
And maybe I have no savior